All-inclusive destination wedding resort provides spouse

The all-inclusive destination wedding resort Shackles has begun offering a spouse to would-be brides or grooms who wish for their nuptials to be absolutely stress free.

“As guests have often told us, the most time-consuming chore of any destination wedding is finding a spouse in the first place,” said Shackles Chief Commitment Officer, Bob Payne.

So the popular Caribbean resort, which already prided itself on choosing menus, flowers, music, and which supposedly secret former flames to sit most humiliatingly distant from the newlywed’s table, added the ultimate destination-wedding inclusion.

“You would not believe how much the tension level drops at one of these events, “ Payne said, “Sometimes to the point that we make it through an entire reception without a mother in law saying something she will later regret.”

Payne said the spouses are selected from among previous guests who have recently attended other destination weddings at Shackles, as they are often still suitably dressed for the ceremony and are fuzzy on matrimonial, or any other, laws that might apply.

“We’ve had excellent success with the program so far,” Payne said, “just once accidentally marrying off one of our assistant managers, who only occasionally still sends us beseeching e-mails.”