Airlines, for reasons most people find incomprehensible, like to boast of record-setting non-stop flights, ranked by hours in the air. The longest flights are currently claimed to be around 17 hours, although as every passenger knows, the real duration of a flight is determined by who sits next to you. The very longest flights include those on which your seatmate is:
Positive you said you would shut the oven off.
Struggling with issues of bladder control.
Louder than an accompanying child.
Returning from a wedding, with photos.
Demonstrably capable of reciting pi to 3,764 places.
Attempting to assemble an unidentifiable electronic device.
Recently retired, from sumo wrestling.
Watching an X-rated movie, you’ve already seen.
Shackled, but not gagged.
Dead.
