Boeing considers renting out grounded Dreamliners for birthday parties

To help recoup losses resulting from the grounding of its fleet of 787 Dreamliners, Boeing is considering renting out the stricken aircraft for birthday parties.

“Talk about a birthday wish come true; imagine being able to experience the world’s most sophisticated aircraft without having to worry about some new problem cropping up at 30,000 feet,” said travel humor writer Bob Payne, Boeing’s newly-appointed Vice President for On-Ground Events.

Payne said the great appeal of the “Birthday Boeing’s,” as the company’s marketing department is now calling them, is that because they can’t leave the ground they are technically not aircraft, meaning none of the usual restrictions apply.

“If you want to sit in the cockpit or spend the entire party in the lavatory, go right ahead; it’s your birthday,” Payne said.

Likewise, there are no limitations on what passengers may carry on, so it’s no problem if presents include liquids, knives, garden tools, or incendiary devices.

The only thing Boeing asks, Payne said, is that for all electronics gifts, batteries not be included.

The parties are suitable for up to 290 guests. A birthday cake is included, but pizza is extra for all guests sitting in coach.  The pizza is served by the aircraft’s real cabin crew, who are happy to have the work, or, optionally, a team of Boeing executives dressed in clown suits.

Travel humor writer Bob Payne recently got a good deal on his own 787, which he plans to convert to a single-lane bowling alley.

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