The airline industry today announced a revolutionary new concept in flying – coach class turndown service.
The way the service works, according to industry spokesperson Bob Payne, is that any request made by a coach passenger will automatically be turned down.
“What the request is won’t matter – May I have the full can? Could somebody bolt my seat back to the floor? Could you tell me why the wing is on fire? – the answer will always be No,” Payne said.
The effect on the industry’s bottom line is expected to prove even more positive than ancillary add-on fees have, and should give flight attendants more time to devote to higher-priority tasks, such as determining who among the cockpit crew is married.
“That will make it a win-win for everyone, except of course the coach passengers themselves.” Payne said.
Some critics have said that those coach passengers, denied access to basic information they need for a comfortable, comforting, and safe flying experience may decide not to fly at all.
To which Payne responded, “Are you somehow unaware of what they’ve been willing to put up with already?”
The fee for the turndown service, Payne said, will be $75.
Travel humor writer Bob Payne is the author of the acclaimed psychological thriller, Fare of Flying.
BigStock photo.
